6th November 2006...

The sun shimmered from within the shadow of the branches.... whilst the child gained comfort from sitting in the shade.... it was a hot humid day.... Peacefully the child played with her doll.. that she had been given several weeks before... from her gran.. who loved her very much... but outwith her game.. of playing mummy... inside the house her gran was struggling to take her last breath... she was dieing.... the child played regardless.. totally unaware of the concept of reality... and the chaos and sorrow that it delivers... we, tend to take things for granted... as the child did with the doll... but someday soon.... she will realise... as we all do.... that the gift that she had been given.. as in the doll was so special...and for the rest of her life... she would hold that doll close to her heart.....

The ignorance of a child... at times can be bliss.... whereas.. as in adolescence.... our life's are full of turmoil.... the relative was buried... who was both mum, friend, aunt and cousin... but in the case of the child.. reality within her direction.. was forbidden.... as the innocence within a child.. is a concept which should be adhered to.... and within this concept... she still played happily with her doll that had been given before.... but take the doll away from her... sadness... would have reigned...frustration.. and loss.. would have quickly set in.....

As in the case of adolescence... material values... within us seem to serve no purpose... and we seem to take our life for granted....

But take that expectancy away.... disaster!!!!!

We will then become the child... that has had her doll taken away from her....

Sadness... frustration... and loss will quickly set in!!!

We look for a crutch to lean on.... new coping mechanisms....

HELP!!!!!!!

But the help has to come from within.... as in your own determination.... yes, you'll manage regardless of the hurdles.. that have been set... you will manage to overcome these.. and many more.... you will have to... to survive...

As in the child's doll.. that can be replaced.. but life cannot.... it's a one in a lifetime gift..... regardless of what capacity that you are left to live your lifestyle in.... look around... there is always someone in a greater need... and more determined....than yourself... so never dwell within your own battle... always be ready to be an alliance in anothers..... never get caught up.. or burdened by self importance because one day... this concept will have a price... and to continue... this aspect... through time will prove so expensive that you will lose your friends... family... and everything that you hold dear... to yourself...

It is not worth it!!!!!

Take time out.... until you regain your own coping mechanisms.... it's better late than never...... do not let another tell you what to do.... or bully you into a situation that at that moment you cannot deal with....

There is an old saying.....

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!!!!!!

BUT... UNTIL THESE COPING MECHANISMS.. CAN BE OBTAINED FROM WITHIN...

Refrain from reality.....

Be that child.... playing with her doll... oblivious from reality.... as one day soon...although she will be old enough to realise....we as adults... can choose when to deal with it....

But until then....

"Hey baby, look what mummy has for you... a new teddy"

doll says.. "thank you mummy"

mum says... "come on... time for nite nite's"

I kiss my doll on the head... ~thinks~ Aww... isn't she so cute... she is cuddling her teddy.....

God bless!!!!

We as C.F.S suffers... need this mode of unreality... well i know I do.... as in the case of reality 24/7 would drive me to the extremes of insanity.... and it would you also.... imagine having a migraine for 3 years running..

EXACTLY!!!!!!

MY ONLY WISH AT THE MOMENT... IS THAT I WAS STILL AN INNOCENT CHILD... BEING SHIELDED FROM THE WORLD OF REALITY....

But that wish will never come true... I will just need to hide... from reality... until I'm strong enough to address it....

AND TO BE HONEST.... WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD IT IS....

If only I could stay in this world forever.....

BUT UNFORTUNATELY.... I CAN'T...

 

7th November 2006...

I was working today... ~sigh~ never mind... at least I'm off tomorrow... I had a hospital appointment to attend at 10.00 am.... but I cancelled it.... I need some time to myself..... tomorrow.....

so far my day has went pretty well.... came home around 2.30pm... Colin came to visit.... I haven't seen him for 2 weeks... I have been dismissing every effort that he has made to come and spend some time... with me... he is a very good friend.. and has helped me loads.... including this website... I write... he uploads... we are a team....

I was looking forward to seeing him.... as I said it's been a while.... I asked him if he wanted to visit yesterday.... but he had prior arrangements.... he had already planned to go out for coffee again with a girl that he had been chatting to.... so we decided to leave the visit until today....

Since 3.30pm... things have started to go downhill healthwise... yes!! again I have been struggling.... the women who helps me tidy the house.. appeared at 3.30pm.... no harm to her... but I could have done without it.... but I let her in anyway... Colin and my son... were having a bit of boisterous fun... I was starting to lose it.... yes... I know that no-one understands how I feel.... but I started to lose it completely... with my son... I lost count of how many times I asked him to calm down.... yes... I was stressed... the noise was echoing through my head.... I can't deal with it.....

But as per usual... I tried to deal with it silently... why should my hang ups.. disrupt anothers activities.....

5.20pm.... time for my son to go to his tae kwon doe... Colin gave us a lift there.... and my friend Sarah came for a blether and a cup of tea.... I dealt with that as well.... as her son also went to tae kwon doe.... so we had an hour to kill until such time we picked the kids back up..... but the hour.. seemed to drag.. but eventually it came to an end.....

Colin had been trying to set up a Guestbook on my websites... funny how nothing goes according to plan.... computers... who'd have them.... haha!!!! it'll get sorted eventually... then feel free... to add a comment....

I was beginning to struggle big time.... aarrgghh!!!! it was after 7.00pm.... then 7.30pm..... I was starting to lose it.... and Colin was still trying to configure my site.. for e-mail... via outlook... I can receive e-mails.. but cannot respond to them... but now it's been configured... if you add a comment via the Guestbook... I will reply via my aol addy... sorted!!! I need routine.... and as tonight...it has gone.... yes!!!! I did make time boundaries... to my visit.... but it is now past 7.00pm...

I DEFINATELY NEED TIME OUT!!!!!

I'M REALLY AGITATED!!!!

But I cannot continue this lifestyle....it's not fair on me.... I could have turned Colin away... and told him in the familiar gesture to piss off!!!! but I haven't.... but he didn't honour my wishes either.... and be gone by 7.00pm... but to me.. this must be a learning process....

I honestly cannot shut the world out after 7pm......

But I do try... and if this process... is interrupted... then I become... stressed.... which within my illness... is a no go area... I do try to eliminate all the aspects... within myself... which will exasperate... my condition...

2 weeks.. into taking my ~magic pill~ st johns wort.... and my tonic.... I'm beginning to think that the healing process... entailed with taking this product... is a phalicy!!!! but regardless.... I'll try it for another 2 weeks... I've got nothing to lose.....I've only experienced a lucky 2 or 3 days... of normality..... I'm totally peeved off!!!!

Got news.. a few days ago... my dad has been accepted for an operation that could change his life for the better... as said previously.... he has Parkinson's disease.... I'm over the moon.... honestly.. although he has... within found his ~magic pill~ and I'm not going to be negative... I wish him all the best... and my thoughts of him leading a normal lifestyle... are fantastic... I will get my dad back... yippee!!! but to be honest.... the operation is not to be taken for granted.. as a few have been turned down only hours... before hand.. and were told that they were not suitable candidates... after all... and the 9 hour operation... has so many risks... but until then....

I WILL FOCUS ON THE BENEFITS!!!!!

There is no point in worrying about the negativity factor until it arises....

Firstly... it changes nothing!!!!!

Secondly... the worry before hand leaves us weak... as we have been fighting prior to the battle....

Therefore.... we should accept another's decision within life... acknowledge their decision... and give impartial advice... when asked.... but regardless.... keep every bit of negativity within yourself...

At the moment.. my thoughts are varied... from jealously... fear... and yearn...

I yearn to be well!!!!

I'm so jealous that someone has found a ~magic pill~ before I did...

And I'm so scared... that something will go wrong.......

But regardless.... my fingers and toes are crossed.... As of now.... regardless... of how I feel... I wish him the best of British!!!!!!

Regardless.... of how I feel today.... 3 cans of beer has not shut it out.... me thinks... an early night is in order.... goodnight... and take care.....xx

 

8th November 2006...

I was up early this morning..6.00am ~yawn~ to be honest I wasn't feeling to good.... I had a bit of a sore throat, a headache... and I felt as If I had a bit of a temperature... but I didn't check... It wouldn't have made any difference either way.... I took a couple of paracetamol anyway.. by 7.00am I was starting to feel a bit better... just as well... time to get my son up for school....

I sorted his breakfast.. and packed his school bag up... then got him dressed... 8.45am... time to go.. so we left.. the walk to school was ok... but to be honest I had problems getting back home.... my legs were like jelly... but I focused on the short walk home... sometimes I need to... I shut everything out.. excluding my destination.... I've been told many a time.. that I walk to quickly... I think that Is more of a mental process than anything else... the quicker I walk... the quicker I will get there... I get so scared Incase I do not get home.. at times.....

BUT... HEY I MADE IT... PHEWW!!!!!!

Once I got In... I made myself a cup of tea.... "I'll get my tea... then I'll make a start to getting the house organized" or so I thought....

I was "healthwise"... stopped In my tracks....

I knew at this point that I had to get my head down... and get a sleep.... If I didn't.. then I wouldn't have been able to function for the rest of the day..... so I lay on the couch... and slept for a couple of hours.... I must admit.. I felt better once I wakened... so I quickly tidied up the house... well downstairs... anyway... my friend Julie... phoned shortly afterwards.... she had planned to visit... for a couple of hours.. but wanted to know If I was up to receiving visitors.... I told her It was ok.... went to pick my son up from school... got back home and Julie arrived shortly afterwards...

We had a chat for around half an hour... I had told her that I had an appointment with the chap from "advocacy" he arrived at 4.00pm... I had sought his help... whilst arguing with the world... about my Disability Living Allowance claim..... he was a great help... he came today... to ask If his services were still required.... but I'm kinda coping now... so I told him no... and thanked him for all the help that he had given.... the door to advocacy Is not shut... just slightly ajar... as and If I need help again... the service will always be available......

As In the rest of the day.... It has been ok... got the majority of last minute things done... just before 7.00pm... school clothes are organized.... and the dogs are fed.... and I have my work clothes laid out for tomorrow..... I hate that word... "work" ~sigh~ but needs must... I suppose... I already know... that my full day Is taken up tomorrow.... again... I need to get my son ready... take him to school... then go to work... come back... go back down to the school pick him up.... aarrrgghh!!!! I'm tired thinking about It... but tomorrow has added Implications..... It's parents evening tomorrow night... but due to my 7.00pm curfew... I briefly explained to the teacher... that I can't get down to parents evening at night.... so she has arranged a meeting to discuss my son's progress at 3.05pm... once I'm finished there It's football practice.. so I will need to take him there also.... I will not get home until 4.30pm... It's to long a day......

BUT TOMORROW.... I WILL SUCCEED.. AGAIN!! WHATEVER THE PRICE!!!!

Do you want to know something?????

Amongst the numerous... friends that I have... I still feel so alone.... I seem to be trapped In my own time capsule.... I cannot move forward... as for every step In the right direction.. seems to take me 10 steps backwards.... but recently... I have been trying to take control of my lifestyle....

BE IN CHARGE FOR ONCE!!!!!!!

But to my dismay.... every morning I waken... I whisper to myself... "here I go again... I wonder what battles I need to fight today?"

Hold on.... be back In 5... I've just remembered something.....

FOUND IT!!!!!!

Whitesnake.... Here I Go Again... that song... reminds me of my determination... and my acceptance... of my lifestyle....

I waken every morning....

"DEJA VU"...

I still have the same.. battle to survive... I'm still faced by .... another day... of pretence.... I'm still being haunted with symptoms... I'm still hunting for my ~magic pill~ .... and... I still feel so alone.....

AAARRGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never mind.... What else can I do.... give up???? no chance.....

For now... I will... well I have no choice..... settle for my lot In life.....as they say....

For now... I'll leave you with the lyrics... for "Here I Go Again".... I do not understand why.... but at the moment.... music... seems to be Important to me.... It's tranquil.... and within... when I listen to the lyrics.. I do not feel so alone... as If I were... the lyrics.. to the song would never have been written....

UNLESS.... I HAD WRITTEN THEM MYSELF.... BUT I DIDN'T....

Here I Go Again

I don't know where I'm going
But I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
But here I go again
Here I go again

Tho' I keep searching for an answer I never seem to find what I'm looking for,
Oh Lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on
Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

I'm just another heart in need of rescue
Waiting on love's sweet charity
An' I'm gonna hold on
For the rest of my days
Cause I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
An' here I go again
Here I go again
Here I go again
Here I go again
Here I go again

An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again

(by Whitesnake)

 

9th November 2006...

Today.... has a bit of remembrance about it.... it would have been my brothers birthday....

GOD BLESS HIM!!!!!

Unfortunately.... 7 years ago... he died.. he committed suicide to be honest..... as a result of being bullied within the armed forces... the "Royal Navy" to be exact.....

Yes... I still remember that day as if it was only yesterday.... I was busying myself around the house.... as we do... then I received a phone call as of now... (ex) partner.... that Jason had been found.... he stuttered and stammered.. then eventually said... "Dead" i refused to believe this... called him all the liars under the sun... asked him what kind of sick joke that he was playing.... hung up... then phoned my mum....

It was true..... my aunt answered my call... my mum was too upset to speak.....

My world fell apart.... she had the dreaded ... "suited" and "booted"... men at her door... to tell her..... "Every mothers nightmare" that her son was dead..... my aunt came and picked me up.... and as the eldest... I had to break the news... to the rest of my family..... and on every announcement... refusal to believe quickly set in....

We as a family... tried to investigate.... but to be honest.. the "Navy" is a law upon themselves.... as we unfortunately found out.... yes!! they did a naval board of enquiry.... but eventually when it was passed to the civilian side... it was a totally different interpretation.... they.. at the coroners inquest.. were geared with so many top lawyers... those that had previously given statements.. at the naval.. enquiry... quickly changed there story.....

HOW DO I KNOW??????

Because I do... I read the report from the board of enquiry.... and when the statements.. were given at the coroners inquest... everything had changed.... we didn't have a leg to stand on.... I at that point was the family spokesperson.... the only question... after listening to another testimonial.... was...

"How can you sleep at night" ... this certain individual... was supposed to be Jason's... friend!!!!!!!

Unknown to us.. as a family... and bearing in mind the fact... that we were told.. that this coroners inquest... would only last for a few minutes... and to be honest wasn't really worth attending....

It lasted for nearly an hour!!! and when we eventually left the building... we were faced with a multitude of reporters..... from the newspaper.... yes!!! my mum did give her story... and named and shamed.. every officer... involved.....

He did receive a military funeral.... but afterwards... we all went for a bite to eat.... every time.. we approached an individual... who at this point... were Jason's friends... we were then faced by negativity.... and silence... I went to the toilet... and found a young girl.. in tears.... I gave her a hug... unknown to me at the time.. she was Jason's friend... she sobbed her heart out... and blurted out the fact that they had all been ordered not to speak to the family......What really made me feel sick that day was the fact.... my partner at that time... was "Navy" also..... he sat at the captains table!!!

TRAITOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But to be honest... in my opinion... the Navy seems to brainwash... all susceptible.. candidates.... and at the time... my partner.. was in wayyyyyyyyyyy too deep!!!! he was a petty officer....

To me... a career in the navy isn't a chance in a lifetime... it's a reconditional aspect... of one's brain.... the strong minded candidates... then become control freaks.... and the weak ones... are either bullied.. or you tend to visit there gravestones... to put fresh flowers... at there headstone.... to sum up the situation.... i suppose... it produces... victims.. in all aspects....

The weak minded.... participants....

And the partners... of the so called... "Control Freaks"

We all end up as "victims" at some point....

REGARDLESS!!!!!!!

Yes.... my brother... was a victim of circumstance... but as in the nature of his death.... he was one of the most... brave!!! determined!!! people that i will ever know..... and it must have taken a great deal... of determination... to end his life.... he hung himself....

Yes!!!! I think that you are thinking what i originally did... from a great height.... once the action was decided.. he had no choice... to decline...

BUT NO!!!!!!

He went to do... what he had to do.... supplied with a belt.... it broke... he then took the belt from his trousers.... and tried again!!!! unfortunately... this one held!!!! He died.. by... holding up his knees...... in his hands......

He could have put them down.. at any moment.... BUT HE DIDN'T.....

YES!!!! A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE MAYBE... BUT DEFIANTLY NOT A COWARD.....

Yes... I am determined.... but to survive my illness.... but i will never ever... be as determined as my brother!!!!!

GOD REST HIS SOUL!!!!!

I wrote this poem.... shortly after his death....

THE SUICIDE...

In the distance
So forlone
A life thats dieing
A heart that's torn
An outreached hand
For someone to hold
One more gasp of air
The body becomes cold
Rigamortis slowly moves in
Twelve hours to develop
Twelve hours to disappear

What have we lying here
A body to be found
On the ground
Here he died thinking
No-one cared
Terribly lonely
And very scared.

 

R.I.P Jason...

 

 

10th November 2006...

Today's diary will be a short one.... just a quick note... to let you know.. that today has been ok... and I'm feeling fine... I even made a start to my xmas.. shopping.... I bought one present.... well... It Is a start.... haha!!!!!

I decided that a day of pampering was In order.... I took myself to the sunbeds... and got my eyebrows waxed.... ~ouch~ It hurt... haha!!!! no matter... the retail therapy helped afterwards.... It eased the pain just a little.... I bought myself.. a new top.. well 2 to be honest...... they look good.. hanging In my wardrobe.... alongside the rest.. there are so many things hanging up... still with labels.. on them....

MAYBE... ONE DAY SOON.... I'LL GET A CHANCE TO WEAR THEM.....

Anyways... for tonight... I will give you a break from listening to me moan...... lol... but seriously.... I'm taking some ME TIME BACK!!!!! my son Is staying at his sisters.... so.. I'm getting an early night... as I'm up early tomorrow.... yip!!!! working.. ~sniff~ no worries.... at least I'll have had a good nights sleep.... fingers and toes crossed.... and I sincerely hope... that tomorrow... will turn out to be just as good as today...

Goodnight... x

 

11th November 2006...

Well that's me survived another day.... ~phew~ I'm really glad that It Is over.... I had a long lie this morning... got up at 7.30am... well that's a long lie for me.... haha!!!! no worries.. I might even try to sleep until 8.00am tomorrow..... lol....

My taxi.. was late again... this morning.. to be honest I think my employers are getting a tad peeved of with my time keeping.... although It Isn't my fault.... such Is life ehh!!!! was on the checkouts again today.... up until around 11.00am... I was feeling ok... a slight headache... but nothing too bad.... I went for my break... and took a couple of paracetamol... "that'll sort It" or so I thought... as the day progressed... my headache was still there accompanied by.. swollen glands.. a sore throat.... and a generalized aching.... throughout my body.... yes' I was beginning to struggle... as It came near the end of my shift.... I was experiencing pains In my chest... I developed a problem moving my left arm.... It felt as If my shoulder had ceased.... at this point I was looking at the clock.... "only half an hour to go" I told myself... so I continued the best that I could.... I put the rest of the customers shopping through the checkout... single handed.... eventually It reached 2.00pm.... yippee!!!!... time to go home...

I decided to get a few necessities from the shop.. before I went home... I still had 10 mins.. before my taxi came to take me home... I went outside to get a trolley... I took It from the trolley shelter... tried to push It and I had to give up... so.. bearing In mind I only needed a couple of things... decided that a basket would be easier...

SILLY ME!!!!! the sheer weight of even the basket was to much!!!!!

Anyways... regardless I grabbed some milk.. bread and flora margarine.... ooppss!!! nearly forgot.. I needed washing powder... so I went to get It... I couldn't manage... to lift It... so I shouted my friend that works In the store.. to grab It for me... on the pretence that I was making him work for a change!!!! haha!!! It's amazing how you learn to put across a situation... and ask for help... without admittance.... and point It In the redirection of a joke... works every time.... although... It does take years of practice..... and I've had 3 years to learn.... so In my books.. If practice makes perfect... then I must be perfect by now... Eventually I got home.... by this point.. every part of my Insides seemed to hurt... I just didn't feel right at all.... I needed to rest.....to be honest.. It hasn't made the slightest bit of difference... I'm still In pain... yes!!! I can move my left arm again.. but It Is painful... especially all the way down my left side... but It Is an Internal pain... not an external one....

up until an hour ago... when I opened a can of beer at 7.00pm.. my concentration was nil!!!! I have been Ignoring the phone... apart from the calls from my daughter... she Isn't feeling too great at the moment... and I'm feeling a bit guilty that her brother Is staying with her at the moment... but at aged 7.. he Is trying to help.... I did phone another friend... as promised... spoke for a while... but then I had to go... I've had enough of phones... for tonight.. just can't seem to deal with the continuous conversation....

I received another appointment today.. aarrgghh!!!! my life seems to be tied up with hospital appointments... and work!!!! I have an appointment again with the specialist.. at the rehabilitation centre... on the 29th of November.... I'm kinda glad though... as I'm still looking for answers.....to me... my Illness.. Is more than C.F.S!!!! but on a long-term note... It still has to be Investigated.... If It were only to be... C.F.S why can't I.. while standing...

I KNOW!!!! I HAVE C.F.S.... I'M DEPRESSED!!! OH DEAR!!!!

Today's symptoms must have been brought on by the fact that I had a tearful moment at 11.00am by the 2 minute silence for remembrance day....

ME THINKS NOT!!

As whilst this silence occurred... my thoughts were with my previous diary entry... on the 9th of November.... my brother!!!! I understood the loss... of other families.... and grieved the death of others... who lost there lives.... for their country....

GOD BLESS THEM!!!!!

Once the 2 minute silence ended... I had a customer comment on how long 2 minutes felt... standing and thinking.... I quickly dismissed his comment... I had to.... but to be honest... If we all took... at least 2 minutes a day... and thought about life In general... and thought about others... then the world... would not seem to be on the level of dictatorship.... whereas.. If we abide to It's controlism... we will never be free... from hurt... misjudgment... and compliance....

PUT REALITY ASIDE!!!!!!

AS IN.....

Once upon a time In the land of unreality.. a crack within appeared... but It was quickly diminished...

Within this land... there Is magic... of a spiritual nature.. whereas hurt' sadness... etc.. will never occur...

We are then on a level of contentment... and our dreams... within become second nature.... belief and content then become suffice.... and contentment befriends us.....

But then... reality rears It's ugly head... do we move towards It... or beckon away.... choice Is an Important factor... as every road we take... leads to a consequence....

At first.. this consequence Is not apparent.... but visualisations... soon appear...

We might not realise... then the reality soon sets In.... The aspect... of the consequence.. then depends on the strength of The Individual.. on how It Is dealt with... and what Impact It will have upon their lifestyle...

But those In denial... will then revert back to the current stage of unreality.... whereas.. their life... will remain Intact.... as In.. a dreamlike nature.... and contentment... within this state... will always suffice.... only those who have been given the gift of character strength... will be able to conquer this...and be able to combat the battles of reality...and succeed!!!!!

And If we abide to the above.... then It not only proves the fact that we have been given the gift of understanding... but as a whole.... within ourselves... we then become one... with our understanding... and Inward desires.... so therefore... we feel at one with the world... and beyond the disillusion of controlism... which... maybe to others... Is a concept within... but to ourselves... we can see... far beyond this concept...

WE HAVE BEEN GRANTED A GIFT....OF UNDERSTANDING!!!!!!

goodnight... and take care.. x

 

12th November 2006...

Today.. has been a funny sort of day... one minute i felt on top of the world.... then...

BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so, i,m afraid that todays diary has to be short... i,m realy not feeling too great.... so i will have to leave it for now.... and get to my bed....

As for my todays battle.... i need to decline...

But hey, tomorrow is another day!!!!!!

And I will be ready!!!!!!!!

 

Other Diary Entries

Week Beginning

2008
September:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st
August:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
July:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
June:
30th, 23rd, 16th, 9th, 2nd
May:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
April:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
March:
31st, 24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
February:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
January:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th

2007
December:
31st, 24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
November:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
October:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st
September:
24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
August:
27th, 20th, 13th, 6th
July:
30th, 23rd, 16th, 9th, 2nd
June:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
May:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
April:
30th, 23rd, 2nd
March:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
February:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
January:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st

2006
December:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
November:
27th, 20th, 13th, 6th
October:
30th, 23rd