16th May 2006...
At the moment... my so called "Mother Theresa" outlook is affecting my health... big time!!!
The past few days have been to much for me to cope with.... I'm trying to deal with the concept of alcoholism... with a friend.. a suicide.. in which the poor bloke hung himself... and the fact that I have become a subject of hilarity.... by my daughters partner.... due to his misconception of M.E.
I'm totally peeved off....
But as per usual... 10 big deep breaths and everything will be fine...
Here is hoping...
17th May 2006
To be honest the last few days have been emotionally draining...
There is only so much that I can do to help... but I am there regardless... if not in body but in mind... I just want to heal the world... but even I know that that is not possible...
For the past while... I have been trying to fight to keep myself emotionally stable... but I am struggling... due to the misconceptions and ignorance of others... my son-in-law is the main instigator....
As of yesterday... due to the way he treats my daughter... and his so called hilarity towards my coping mechanisms... of my condition... he is no longer part of my family.... and will never be welcome in my house again!!!
I have known for a while that he has been having a laugh at my expense... but I will draw the line of being dismissed as a "junkie" and if I am out... well on a good day... I know that I need to get home for 7pm... I have no choice... as my health is starting to take a downward spiral around that time... he announced the other day... that I need to home for that time... to take a "line" well it makes a change to being accused of turning into a space alien at that time... to be honest he has an IQ of minus 50... asshole!!!!
HE HAS NOT GOT A CLUE!!!!
As in the chap that committed suicide... god bless him... I suppose to be honest that it opened up my door of grief once again... as in my brother who hung himself also... I know what his family must be going through at the moment.... and my heart goes out to them....
I went to see my friend again today... she is still drinking... that will be a week non-stop... now...
I have helped her so many times to get sober... but there is only so much that I can do... she is reliant on alcohol... and regardless of the tough love from her family members... she will insist on lifting the bottle again...
Yes, we all have our problems... only different ones!!!!
We are all victims of society in one way or another...
But why????
Could it be lack of interest in a fellow human being? or just sheer ignorance???
There is a true saying though... "What goes around... comes around"!!!!
Eventually!!!!
The victim of society
In the distance
so forlone
there is a heart
that is broken
and a soul torn
due to helplessness
and suffocated
dreams
Vulnerability sets in
How does she escape this
Veil of uncertainty?
She looks for understanding
Where has it gone?
She look for compassion
Where has that gone?
She has been abandoned!!
She cries out
"Please help me"!!
Why will no-one listen?
Dusk approaches and
her torment continues,
Within the solitude
That she has sought
confinement in.
Alone she will suffer,
and alone she will stand!!
Too many people become a statistic due to the sheer ignorance of society... in whatever capacity!!!
18th May 2007...
Tonight I took part in an absent healing for little Maddie... the little girl that is missing in Portugal... god love her..
but for now...
Let us all unite and say a prayer for little Maddie... her innocence is a virtue... god bless her... let us all pray for her safe recovery and that no harm has been bestowed on her... lets pray for her strength of realisation that she will once again be in the comfort of her mothers loving arms... xx
Again... as in last nights diary entry... the little one is another victim of society...
The only thing that we know for sure... is that the angels are watching over the little one... and we as a nation pray for her recovery... whether that be in body or soul...
xx
Other Diary Entries
Week Beginning
2008
September:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st
August:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
July:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
June:
30th, 23rd, 16th, 9th, 2nd
May:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
April:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
March:
31st, 24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
February:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
January:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th2007
December:
31st, 24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
November:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
October:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st
September:
24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
August:
27th, 20th, 13th, 6th
July:
30th, 23rd, 16th, 9th, 2nd
June:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
May:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
April:
30th, 23rd, 2nd
March:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
February:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
January:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st2006
December:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
November:
27th, 20th, 13th, 6th
October:
30th, 23rd
