1st August 2007...

So much for a good day.... so to speak.. me thinks that I have pushed my luck to far...

Today I was out and about, I was on a mission of normality....

But as per usual the day has ended up has a disaster... healthwise.... as I got a bit carried away with the "norm" so to speak.... as at the moment, I am starting to struggle again!!!!! up until 8.00pm... I was coping pretty well... but I have had to shut everyone out.... I need to temporarily seek unreality.... as the concept of reality itself... is suffocating me, I am feeling very agitated. dizzy and sick.... and for now... I can't deal with the question/answer scenario.... such is the fashion of a normal conversation....

For now, I have to return to my world.... to recuperate....

But I will be back with you real soon.....

 

2nd August 2007...

I have just found out who is my worst enemy is... myself!!! lol...

Today, I have been out and about again.. 

I spent the day at my sisters.. and got in just after 7.00pm... I fed my dogs... and my pup, then yipp you guessed I had to go on a paracetamol hunt.... as I am starting to ache from head to toe.... and I am really tired..... 

I am blooming peeved of... I need to be able to enjoy activities, without suffering afterwards.. but hey, on the bright side... at least I have managed to do something different the past 2 days... apart from sitting around the house.... after all I am doomed if I do and doomed if I don't.... so what the heck!!!!!!

Life is full of ups and downs....especially in the wonderful world of a C.F.S./M.E. sufferer....

 

3rd August 2007...

As in the ups and downs of a C.F.S./M.E. sufferer... I just want to point out a few facts....

To be honest, pre 7.00pm ish... before a beer or two... I can't even contemplate computing, yes, I have tried... only to find myself in a mess.... I do not have the concentration nor the ability to type without feeling dizzy, sick.... and agitated....

But to be honest.... and this has been noted by others.... after a beer or two... I actually look and feel better.... (well sometimes)

Weird ehh!!!!!!!!!

But then again... that is the wonderful world of C.F.S./M.E. for you....

 

5th August 2007...

Guess where I was last night??? l was at the pub.... yeehaa!!!!

To be honest, that is the first time... for a while... and I had fun...

My friend Louise had came to mine earlier.. and we yapped for a while... then she left.. but she did tell me that she was going out and asked me if I wanted to come.. but to be honest I could not give her a straight answer... as I was beginning to be drawn into a downward spiral of symptoms... but hey, they passed... and off I went...

As the night went on, yes... I had a few scary moments... when I did not feel too great... and I did tell her... and she was willing to cut her night short... take me home... or even sit in a corner with me... what a mate!!!!

No-one knows... what goes on within the head of a C.F.S./M.E. sufferer... or how they are feeling.... but this website has raised awareness... to all concerned.... as in:

But to date.... not the N.H.S... perhaps one day... ehh!!!!

Louise... just want to say one thing... we have been friends now for over 20 years... and I love you to bits... you are always there when I need you... and vice versa.... we have never argued.... and never will... yes, perhaps at times.. we are so different but that is what makes our friendship work.... as at times... I always see the glass half empty... and never half full... and I rely on you to equal things out in my head.... in my world... black is black... and white is white.... and I will always tell you the way I see things... regardless.... sometimes... I wish that I was wrong.... and I hate myself... for being so forward... but hey, that is just me.... your best friend.... in the whole wide world.... and thank you for reading my website... as what I have written on here.... I could never have told you verbally....

Colin.... you have helped me to help others.... and for that I am so grateful... not only... is this website helping others... but it is an escapism from my reality.... I suppose to be honest, whilst I am trying to help others... and amidst that case scenario.... I feel that I have something to work towards.... and can and do, dismiss how I feel... Thank you for being my interpretator as and when I have lost my power of speech... and all the help that you have given me.... I am grateful... and most of all... thank you for being my friend.... and putting up with me... and coming to mine... at a moments notice... to rescue me... when I am stuck... and my body decides to not function... even when you have to be at work for 6am...

James... We have spoken for over a year now... mostly by e-mail... and phone... I want to thank you also.... especially when you helped at Ainsleys.... I honestly appreciate that... especially as before that we had never met before that case scenario.... you are a good mate.... and I hope that our friendship will continue.... regardless... whether you are a male chauvinist pig or not... lol

Jess... unfortunately... after a few years of silence... this is what you have to catch up with.... I am aware... that folks change over the years... but getting ill takes the p!ss... but hey, I am still your big sis... and I love you and George to bits.... ~HUGZ~

 

Other Diary Entries

Week Beginning

2008
September:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st
August:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
July:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
June:
30th, 23rd, 16th, 9th, 2nd
May:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
April:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
March:
31st, 24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
February:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
January:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th

2007
December:
31st, 24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
November:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
October:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st
September:
24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
August:
27th, 20th, 13th, 6th
July:
30th, 23rd, 16th, 9th, 2nd
June:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
May:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
April:
30th, 23rd, 2nd
March:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
February:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
January:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st

2006
December:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
November:
27th, 20th, 13th, 6th
October:
30th, 23rd