21st August 2007...
The past few days.. I have been driven by a level of hyperactivity... and within that period I was on top of the world... within my head... I could accomplish every target that was set forth... only one problem though... my body kept letting me down...
Yesterday, after another day of trying to target my aims... my head crashed also... to be honest it was as if someone had switched of the hyperactive machine... one minute my brain was racing... then it stopped dead... my mind became vacant... and struggled to retain the positivity that the period of hyperactivity... had within itself created...
Today I am afraid to say... that I am back to my usual self so to speak...
I had previously planned to rest today.. as I knew what symptoms lay in store for me... but to my dismay... they reared there ugly head anyway....
This morning... hey, I was fine... but as the day progressed... things went from bad to worse... I have crashed 3 times today.... to the extent that I was struggling... mid afternoon was fine... I lay down and slept for an hour.... but then I crashed again at 5.00pm... I was struggling big time to make my son's microwave meal... an two hours later... I crashed again... and it has only been in the past hour or so... that I am starting to feel a bit better....
But hey... as per usual... I will be fine tomorrow.... (I hope) as I have another interview for a job arranged for tomorrow.... and if I get it... then I will have the choice of two positions of employment.... but the truth of the matter is... financially speaking I need to make a choice of which one will be more beneficial... but regardless... of my choice... it will floor me again regardless....
And no.... I am not being negative.... I am being realistic....
22nd August 2007...
Today has been one horrendous nightmare.... and I am really peeved of....
This morning... I spent 3 hours... periodically trying to fill in an application form for my job interview.... with the result being... I was stressed... agitated... and took the shakes... I did try to make my self various cups of tea in between.. but it was a battle to see if the milk actually reached the cup or the cabinet...
At one point... I was ready to give up and f*** the interview so to speak... but I kept going... regardless...
I did not have the strength to travel to the interview... so I tried and tried to get help and eventually ... 4 phone calls later... I had sorted out transport to get me there and back.... ~phew~
Sorted!!!!
When I arrived... for my interview.. I was not good... I was still shaking.. but seeing as I am such a great actress... it remained unnoticed... I sat for ten minutes... waiting on the interviewee.. and when she came... I followed her to an office... and made my excuses that I was not feeling to good... as my son had picked up the sick bug... and I thought that I was coming down with it also... and I was at that precise moment... not at my best... this was accepted... and she gave me her sympathies... has she had had it prior... and knew how I was feeling.... to the extent that she admired me... regardless of how I was feeling for making the attempt to attend the interview... am I good or what??? lol
The long and short of it is the factor... that after an hour and a half interview... I was given the job... only to come down to earth with a thump... as I realised that the job offer would be withdrawn after a unsatisfactory credit check...
I had to admit there and then that I would fail... as I am in debt... but I signed the credit check forms... regardless... but because the call centre deals with banking... my employment within that company looks very bleak... although the girl is going to approach personnel to see if there is a solution which will enable me to continue my employment within the company... I will find out within 24/48 hours...
But to be honest... I am pissed of big time... as due to the Rehabilitation Act... if we were to commit a crime... it is considered spent and is not held against us... 5 years after occurring a fine... and 10 years after a prison sentence... and in the case of a basic disclosure.. the aforementioned crime will not appear... after it is considered as spent.. so why are debtors... being labeled as potential thief's to the extent that companies are subject to withdrawing potential job offers?
I AM TRYING TO REBUILD MY LIFE...
My main aim is to secure employment in order to make arrangements to try and pay the debt of... my debt resulted in the factor of I was to ill to work... and yes, I admit that I ignored and made no payments to my debtors... but first thing first so to speak... I had to get well to deal with this concept....I am trying my best... but regardless of how hard I try... there is always a barrier for me to climb...
What is the point???
24th August 2007...
Hey, did anyone read the the Daily Mail yesterday... about the provisions to the so called asylum seekers... that were that has been set up via our government? seemingly the publication of there so called rights.. were publicised over 2 pages....
No I did not read it ... as I do not have the capacity to read nor retain the the sufficient acknowledgment of any such publications.... but to be honest... after my mother.. touched on the unfairness... of born and bred uk... citizens/asylum seekers... one thing has stuck in my mind....
Why has the government presented the local councils... with such deadlines... as to house all asylum seekers.. and to put them first and foremost on the list to provide adequate housing?
What has happened to our rights as born and bred British residents???
To be honest we as individuals have been cast aside due to political propaganda....
As a nation of British citizens.... this we should fight... as not only do we pay our tax's.. but if and when we are through no fault of our own... deemed as irresponsible.. and unable to to comply to such set regulations.. and expectancies... due to ill health... why will the government not comply to our needs?
Answer..
Because there midst of compliance... and succession as an able bodied organization,,, the mere factor of such negativity's... within there immediate field does and not and not suffice... but as and when they score a level of succession, within a targeted area/well published area... the government will try to target the afforest goals... regardless...
What should British citizens do... to attain the so called financially/supportive scenario... that the asylum seekers seem to divulge.?
Easy.... pretend that you are one of them... sit back and reap the benefits... it is as simple as a, b, c....
Other Diary Entries
Week Beginning
2008
September:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st
August:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
July:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
June:
30th, 23rd, 16th, 9th, 2nd
May:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
April:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
March:
31st, 24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
February:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
January:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th2007
December:
31st, 24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
November:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
October:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st
September:
24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
August:
27th, 20th, 13th, 6th
July:
30th, 23rd, 16th, 9th, 2nd
June:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
May:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
April:
30th, 23rd, 2nd
March:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
February:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
January:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st2006
December:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
November:
27th, 20th, 13th, 6th
October:
30th, 23rd
