14th August 2008...
Not only have my pleas of help became a murmur in the dark.... a figment of ones imagination, so to speak... I sit here in awe... and try to address the obstacles in my way....
I am lost and confused as the concept of reality echoes that of negativity... and whereas acceptance was addressed only to be replaced with that of denial....
For a short time.. admittance had set in... I am to ill to work, had sorted out all avenues of work... as there was a road block at the end of the diversion.... only to find an hour later that this road block had been lifted... and there was another job offer at the next junction...
What do I do???
Please help me my old friend... as within the realm of reality, the answers to my plight have been either varied... or ignored...
Within this proposed junction, I will remain still... frightened to go either way.... but in the distance, I see a glimmer of hope... ebbing me to come it's way....
This light whispers again and again... I can make you well... but is it another demon in disguise???
For now, perhaps I am lost in a diversion of routes within my life, but perhaps this time.. my old friend darkness... this light promises to reunite me with normality....
Gone will be the repetitive illnesses of C.F.S/M.E which to others is only regarded as being tired... gone will be the uncertainty of my life.... as once I am well... I can plan my life again... rather than be spontaneous... as if and when I am well...
Darkness... please do not despair... as our friendship will remain, regardless of the shimmer of light that seems to force itself within the cracks in the walls of friendship...
But the shimmer of light has left a vision, which is slowly creeping... to a world of well being... and within it is a route which I need to partake... a false hope perhaps... but whilst I chase my destiny... dear darkness.. I will reunite with you in my dreams.... as for now, I have a journey of completion to undertake...
Other Diary Entries
Week Beginning
2008
September:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st
August:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
July:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
June:
30th, 23rd, 16th, 9th, 2nd
May:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
April:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
March:
31st, 24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
February:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
January:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th2007
December:
31st, 24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
November:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
October:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st
September:
24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
August:
27th, 20th, 13th, 6th
July:
30th, 23rd, 16th, 9th, 2nd
June:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
May:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
April:
30th, 23rd, 2nd
March:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
February:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
January:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st2006
December:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
November:
27th, 20th, 13th, 6th
October:
30th, 23rd
