30th August 2008...
Within my journey of completion, I have been placed with a minefield of diversions... each within itself posing as a threat to my original destination...
I am burdened with the complexity of life.. a burden so to speak, but regardless of the lack of available exits... I soldier on, at times, unaware of the diversions that I have yet to find, but within my journey, I am aware of the unexpected...
Life itself is a battle... and yes, through the many oppositions that we are faced with... we within, always find a positive, which within, becomes a neutral element to eliminate the negative...
But to win this battle, we need to deal with this factor head on... and never shy away... we are not victims, we are survivors...
I have learned through the many diversions that life has thrown at me... that when one door closes, another opens, and within this factor.... we are given another chance to find our destiny....
A week ago, after struggling with the concept of being employed... admittance set in... I realised that I was to ill to work... and resigned from my original place of employment, only to be offered another job opportunity, which I accepted... to date all is wellish with regards to my new employer... apart from today, as my well being was threatened by the stress level....
I made many mistakes at work today... which I was sanctioned for.... but that was today... and tomorrow has a different story to tell...
Today, well perhaps I was a victim to the unexpected diversion... but the former events have made me strong... and as for tomorrow... I am prepared... no longer will I be the victim of the stress level, now I will deal with it head on...
I have entered my new route of employment, with the intentional omittance of the factor that I am ill... but that factor itself, is on a need to know basis... and at the moment... my fairytale, well within my head.. stands.... I am well...
31st August 2008...
Today's story was based on an illusion... as the brain can only transmit messages that it digests through such...
What do you see through a picture in a gallery? or an exhibit in a glass cage???
Within this concept you decipher your own conclusion... whether it be negative or positive... regardless, it will be either or...
Do we really know the story behind the painting of the "Mona Lisa"??
No we do not.... Again this exhibit has been taking at face value... as we as C.F.S/M.E sufferers are subjected to on a day to day basis.... mainly due to the ignorance of society.... whereas we have been branded as either depressed... lazy etc...
But regardless... of society's prognosis/labels... there is a voice crying out, within every sufferer... "please let me get on with my life"
We are not the dregs of society as which was once thought... many of us are not yuppies... as in the terminology of those who suffered in the eighties.. as "Yuppie Flu" we are normal individuals....suffering from a debilitating illness... through no fault of our own...
As in my new job, well so far so good... I have camouflaged myself to the extent of being a well individual.... but within the clearance.... it is apparent.. that I am ill, but within that factor, I will lie, deny... and avoid every avenue of realisation from others with regards to my new employment...
Momentarily... I feel comfort within the facade that I present before others.. and the guilt factor is no more... and yes... the factor of deceit does not disturb me, as, with regards to the opinions of normality, I reach that criteria....
But... within closed doors... that is a different story....
Other Diary Entries
Week Beginning
2008
September:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st
August:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
July:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
June:
30th, 23rd, 16th, 9th, 2nd
May:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
April:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
March:
31st, 24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
February:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
January:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th2007
December:
31st, 24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
November:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
October:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st
September:
24th, 17th, 10th, 3rd
August:
27th, 20th, 13th, 6th
July:
30th, 23rd, 16th, 9th, 2nd
June:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
May:
28th, 21st, 14th, 7th
April:
30th, 23rd, 2nd
March:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
February:
26th, 19th, 12th, 5th
January:
29th, 22nd, 15th, 8th, 1st2006
December:
25th, 18th, 11th, 4th
November:
27th, 20th, 13th, 6th
October:
30th, 23rd
